And with great fear I inhabit the middle of the night What wrecks of the mind await me, what drugs to dull the senses, what little I have left, what more can be taken away ? The fear of travelling, of the future without hope or buoy. I must get away from this place and see that there is no fear without me : that it is within unless it be some sudden act or calamity to land me in the hospital, a total wreck, without memory again ; or worse still, behind bars. If I could just get out of the country.…