And with great fear I inha­bit the middle of the night What wrecks of the mind await me, what drugs to dull the senses, what lit­tle I have left, what more can be taken away ? The fear of tra­vel­ling, of the future without hope or buoy. I must get away from this place and see that there is no fear without me : that it is within unless it be some sud­den act or cala­mi­ty to land me in the hos­pi­tal, a total wreck, without memo­ry again ; or worse still, behind bars. If I could just get out of the coun­try. Some place where one can eat the…