Think of the way one per\u00adson can make you feel, also the way that one per\u00adson is only one. Why want that one per\u00adson who is only, after all, one per\u00adson, and why wake up lon\u00adging for a per\u00adson and fall asleep lon\u00adging for the same per\u00adson and who knows if anyone else in this is lon\u00adging ? You don\u2019t know if that one per\u00adson is lon\u00adging, too.<\/p>\n
the over-deter\u00admi\u00adna\u00adtion of each thing unheld<\/em><\/p>\n That per\u00adson who is only one per\u00adson is just as over-deter\u00admi\u00adned as any\u00adthing else unheld, over-deter\u00admi\u00adned like an ange\u00adlic realm or the com\u00admune or wha\u00adte\u00adver else you never get but real\u00adly want. You hold their face in your face. You see how their face goes from one expres\u00adsion to the other. You ima\u00adgine how you could make their face move bet\u00adween expres\u00adsions. You ima\u00adgine how if you held their face in your eyes how that face would look when held. You think about their face a lot and ask some ques\u00adtions of it : What would it look like if I tou\u00adched it ? What would it look like if I did that thing to that per\u00adson ? What would it look like if the per\u00adson were doing that thing or another ?<\/p>\n the elas\u00adti\u00adci\u00adty of sur\u00adprise on the longed-for\u2019s face<\/em><\/p>\n Remember what it loo\u00adked like when that per\u00adson was sur\u00adpri\u00adsed by you ? You said some\u00adthing they didn\u2019t expect. That it was unex\u00adpec\u00adted deligh\u00adted them from sur\u00adprise, then you saw their face in imme\u00addia\u00adcy and elas\u00adti\u00adci\u00adty of sur\u00adprise. They said, \u201cYou just did that sur\u00adpri\u00adsing thing!\u201d and their face was spread open by sur\u00adprise. You were sur\u00adpri\u00adsed by their sur\u00adprise, and your face spread up open. Every one was imme\u00addiate and elas\u00adtic then. And remem\u00adber the gri\u00admaces, the person\u2019s face in anger ? Remember the dere\u00adlic\u00adtion and affec\u00adtion ? Remember the look on the face in pure vul\u00adne\u00adrable reci\u00adpient of plea\u00adsure ? Remember the face with its cre\u00advices of intel\u00adlec\u00adtual effort ? Remember how you wan\u00adted to trace any cre\u00advice ? Remember the look of dog\u00adgish desire ? Remember when you were in your plea\u00adsure, and you ope\u00adned your eyes and loo\u00adked at the person\u2019s, too, and added it to your own ? Remember the look of that face in minor pain ? You remem\u00adber that person\u2019s frus\u00adtra\u00adtion, to, and when you cau\u00adsed it, how the frus\u00adtra\u00adtion slow\u00adly took the face and ossi\u00adfied it, how that person\u2019s frus\u00adtra\u00adtion when you cau\u00adsed it could be the oppo\u00adsite of that face\u2019s sur\u00adprise. This is one per\u00adson, but these were so many dif\u00adferent faces, then.<\/p>\n the thou\u00adsand fictions<\/em><\/p>\n These one per\u00adsons are so many dif\u00adferent ones, and even if the one per\u00adson has never been your lover you can still remem\u00adber all of your love in its pre\u00adcise ite\u00adra\u00adtion and all of it in dif\u00adferent mea\u00adsures com\u00adbi\u00adned, and if that per\u00adson hasn\u2019t been your lover yet or for wha\u00adte\u00adver rea\u00adson never will be, you can make a thou\u00adsand fic\u00adtions of when they were. You can think of the time you haven\u2019t but did deny the per\u00adson plea\u00adsure. You can think of that time you haven\u2019t given but did give plea\u00adsure free\u00adly as if you were just a radia\u00adtor or the sun. You can think of that person\u2019s face when you made that per\u00adson weep from your own cruel\u00adty or sad\u00adness. You can think of the time with that one per\u00adson a thou\u00adsand times or ten thou\u00adsand even if none of it has been yet or will, for wha\u00adte\u00adver rea\u00adson, be.<\/p>\n the pre\u00adcise method<\/em><\/p>\n How do you long ? Like you do. There\u2019s the person\u2019s face in the mor\u00adning, and then again at night. The per\u00adson is there in dreams some\u00adtimes : you can think in your dreams \u201cwe will walk through this city\u201d and the city is end\u00adless and like eve\u00adry other city until you wake up. You can ima\u00adgine saying \u201clet\u2019s be as inno\u00adcent as ani\u00admals or chil\u00addren\u201d and in this mea\u00adning \u201clet\u2019s hold each other\u2019s faces in our faces and eyes and pre\u00adtend to suf\u00adfer none of the des\u00adtruc\u00adtion inherent in this\u201d. The day is made of alter\u00adna\u00adting ter\u00adror of having that per\u00adson with you in some way or not having that per\u00adson with you in some way, the ter\u00adror of their inter\u00adest or non-inter\u00adest, the ter\u00adror of asym\u00adme\u00adtri\u00adcal or sym\u00adme\u00adtri\u00adcal desire. Pulling out of the ter\u00adror, you make some plans to pull out of the ter\u00adror, to frac\u00adture idea\u00adli\u00adza\u00adtion or make the per\u00adson more pre\u00adcise but increa\u00adsed expo\u00adsure never actual\u00adly results in decrea\u00adsed idea\u00adli\u00adza\u00adtion like you plan.<\/p>\n lon\u00adging as cosmopolitanism<\/em><\/p>\n So you can swear you think the one-ness of this one per\u00adson feels real\u00adly spe\u00adcial right now, and in most hours you would swear to their spe\u00adcial\u00adness, but in fact it isn\u2019t even that per\u00adson and never limi\u00adted like that. Sometimes it is one, some\u00adtimes it is ano\u00adther, some\u00adtimes it is a future-orien\u00adted lon\u00adging, some\u00adtimes a nos\u00adtal\u00adgic one, some\u00adtimes it is a gene\u00adra\u00adli\u00adzed they-ness, some\u00adtimes a him-ness or her-ness, the way all the people of past lon\u00adging com\u00adbine with those of the present lon\u00adging. This is like some\u00adtimes how you are in a city you used to live in or one you have visi\u00adted a lot. Then some\u00adtimes you feel like you are in all cities at once, or that all cities are basi\u00adcal\u00adly just one, or that you are dri\u00adving or wal\u00adking in a city that makes each city the same like the dream city you have the one-per\u00adson in. So, too, your lon\u00adging has both an enlar\u00adging and flat\u00adte\u00adning effect : now that you have been alive for some time, it\u2019s clear all this lon\u00adging is a kind of cos\u00admo\u00adpo\u00adli\u00adta\u00adnism. This is the lon\u00adging that is not in actual rela\u00adtion\u00adship but out\u00adside of it. That is when it is lon\u00adging in the state of the gene\u00adral but not in the spe\u00adci\u00adfics of one-on-one bodi\u00adly nego\u00adtia\u00adtion. You hold a face in your eyes a lot and say \u201cI am a citi\u00adzen of lon\u00adging for that one per\u00adson\u201d, but what you real\u00adly mean is that you are a citi\u00adzen of lon\u00adging for the world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Think of the way one per\u00adson can make you feel, also the way that one per\u00adson is only one. Why want that one per\u00adson who is only, after all, one per\u00adson, and why wake up lon\u00adging for a per\u00adson and fall asleep lon\u00adging for the same per\u00adson and who knows if anyone else in this [\u2026]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"quote","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[469,2438],"class_list":["post-13032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-quote","hentry","category-non-classe","tag-amour","tag-exclusivite","post_format-post-format-quote"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13032","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13032"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13032\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}