Un n\u0153ud de honte en moi : avoir \u00e9t\u00e9 quelqu\u2019un qui par\u00adlait libre\u00adment, abon\u00addam\u00adment et pas\u00adsion\u00adn\u00e9\u00adment \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9cole secon\u00addaire, puis arri\u00adver \u00e0 l\u2019universit\u00e9 et r\u00e9a\u00adli\u00adser que j\u2019\u00e9tais en passe de deve\u00adnir une de ces per\u00adsonnes qui font lever les yeux au ciel : et la voi\u00adl\u00e0 repar\u00adtie<\/em>. \u00c7\u2019aura pris du temps et du trouble, mais fina\u00adle\u00adment j\u2019ai appris \u00e0 arr\u00ea\u00adter de par\u00adler, \u00e0 \u00eatre une obser\u00adva\u00adtrice (\u00e0 jouer \u00e0 l\u2019\u00eatre, en fait). Ce jeu m\u2019a men\u00e9e \u00e0 \u00e9crire \u00e9nor\u00adm\u00e9\u00adment dans les marges de mes cahiers de notes ; du mat\u00e9\u00adriel que j\u2019ai ensuite pill\u00e9 pour faire des po\u00e8mes.<\/p>\n

Me for\u00adcer \u00e0 me taire, d\u00e9ver\u00adser le lan\u00adgage sur le papier \u00e0 la place : c\u2019est deve\u00adnu une habi\u00adtude. Mais main\u00adte\u00adnant je suis \u00e9ga\u00adle\u00adment reve\u00adnue \u00e0 une parole abon\u00addante, sous la forme de l\u2019enseignement.<\/p>\n

Parfois, quand j\u2019enseigne, quand je glisse un com\u00admen\u00adtaire sans que per\u00adsonne ne m\u2019en emp\u00eache, sans me pr\u00e9\u00adoc\u00adcu\u00adper du fait que j\u2019ai d\u00e9j\u00e0 pris la parole il y a un ins\u00adtant, ou quand j\u2019interromps quelqu\u2019un pour redi\u00adri\u00adger la conver\u00adsa\u00adtion loin d\u2019une zone que je trouve per\u00adson\u00adnel\u00adle\u00adment st\u00e9\u00adrile, je suis gri\u00ads\u00e9e par la cer\u00adti\u00adtude que je peux par\u00adler autant que je veux, aus\u00adsi rapi\u00adde\u00adment que je le veux, dans tous les sens, sans que per\u00adsonne ne puisse ouver\u00adte\u00adment lever les yeux au ciel ou sug\u00adg\u00e9\u00adrer que j\u2019aille en th\u00e9\u00adra\u00adpie. Je ne dis pas que c\u2019est de la bonne p\u00e9da\u00adgo\u00adgie. Je dis que la satis\u00adfac\u00adtion en est profonde.<\/p>\n

\n
Shame-spot : being someone who spoke free\u00adly, copious\u00adly, and pas\u00adsio\u00adna\u00adte\u00adly in high school, then arri\u00adving in col\u00adlege and rea\u00adli\u00adzing I was in dan\u00adger of beco\u00adming one of those people who makes eve\u00adryone else roll their eyes : there she goes again<\/em>. It took some time and trouble, but even\u00adtual\u00adly I lear\u00adned to stop tal\u00adking, to be (imper\u00adso\u00adnate, real\u00adly) an obser\u00adver. This imper\u00adso\u00adna\u00adtion led me to write an enor\u00admous amount in the mar\u00adgins of my note\u00adbooks\u2014 mar\u00adgi\u00adna\u00adlia I would later mine to make poems.<\/p>\n
Forcing myself to shut up, pou\u00adring lan\u00adguage onto paper ins\u00adtead : this became a habit. But now I\u2019ve retur\u00adned to copious spea\u00adking as well, in the form of teaching.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, when I\u2019m tea\u00adching, when I inter\u00adject a com\u00adment without anyone cal\u00adling on me, without caring that I just spoke a moment before, or when I inter\u00adrupt someone to redi\u00adrect the conver\u00adsa\u00adtion away from an eddy I per\u00adso\u00adnal\u00adly find fruit\u00adless, I feel high on the know\u00adledge that I can talk as much as I want to, as qui\u00adck\u00adly as I want to, in any direc\u00adtion that I want to, without anyone overt\u00adly rol\u00adling her eyes at me or sug\u00adges\u00adting I go to speech the\u00adra\u00adpy. I\u2019m not saying this is good peda\u00adgo\u00adgy. I am saying that its plea\u00adsures are deep.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Un n\u0153ud de honte en moi : avoir \u00e9t\u00e9 quelqu\u2019un qui par\u00adlait libre\u00adment, abon\u00addam\u00adment et pas\u00adsion\u00adn\u00e9\u00adment \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9cole secon\u00addaire, puis arri\u00adver \u00e0 l\u2019universit\u00e9 et r\u00e9a\u00adli\u00adser que j\u2019\u00e9tais en passe de deve\u00adnir une de ces per\u00adsonnes qui font lever les yeux au ciel : et la voi\u00adl\u00e0 repar\u00adtie. \u00c7\u2019aura pris du temps et du trouble, mais fina\u00adle\u00adment j\u2019ai [\u2026]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"quote","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[332,1599,871],"class_list":["post-20262","post","type-post","status-publish","format-quote","hentry","category-non-classe","tag-bavardage","tag-enseignement","tag-honte","post_format-post-format-quote"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20262","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20262"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20262\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21850,"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20262\/revisions\/21850"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/testanonpertinente.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}