15 09 20

At the ful­lest expres­sion of its treat­ment, breast can­cer is near total strike : stri­king hair, stri­king eye­lashes, stri­king eye­brows, stri­king skin, stri­king thought, stri­king lan­guage, stri­king fee­ling, stri­king vigor, stri­king appe­tite, stri­king eros, stri­king mater­ni­ty, stri­king pro­duc­ti­vi­ty, stri­king immune sys­tem, nega­ted fer­ti­li­ty, nega­ted breasts.
Self-manage, the boss that is eve­ryone says : work har­der, stay posi­tive, draw on eye­brows, cover your head with a wig or color­ful scarf, insert tear­drop- or half-a-globe-sha­ped sili­cone under your scar­red skin and graft on pros­the­tic nipples or tat­too trompe‑l’œil ones in pubes­cent pink or have flaps of fat remo­ved from your back or bel­ly and joi­ned to your chest, exer­cise when tired, eat when repul­sed by food, go to yoga, do not men­tion death, take an Ativan, behave nor­mal­ly, think of the future, coope­rate with the doc­tors, attend “look good feel bet­ter” for your free high-qua­li­ty makeup kit, 8 run a 5K, whe­ther-or-not-to-wear-a-wig-during-sex is a ques­tion the book says to ask your hus­band, “one fami­ly mem­ber at a time” says the sign on the way to the infu­sion room, the pink rib­bon on the for-sale sign of the man­sion.

The Undying
Penguin 2019
p. 73
cancer grève management