15 09 20

Boyer, The Undying

I am sick and a woman. I write my own name. I am han­ded at each appoint­ment a prin­tout from the gene­ral data­base that I am told to amend or approve. The data­bases would be emp­ty without us.

Receptionists dis­tri­bute forms, print the bra­ce­lets to be read later by scan­ners held in the hands of other women. The nur­sing assis­tants stand in a door­way from which they never quite emerge. They hold these doors open with their bodies and call out patients’ names. These women are the para­pro­fes­sio­nals in the thre­sholds, wei­ghing the bodies of patients on digi­tal scales, taking mea­su­re­ments of vital signs in the sta­ging area of a clinic’s open cran­nies. Then they lead the patient (me) to an exa­mi­ning room and log into the sys­tem. They enter the num­bers my body gene­rates when offe­red to machines : how hot or cold I am, the rate at which my heart is bea­ting. Then they ask the ques­tion : Rate your pain on a scale of one to ten ? I try to ans­wer, but the cor­rect ans­wer is always anu­me­ri­cal. Sensation is the ene­my of quan­ti­fi­ca­tion. There is no machine, yet, to which a ner­vous sys­tem can sub­mit sen­sa­tion to be trans­for­med into a suf­fi­cient­ly des­crip­tive measurement.

Contemporary medi­cine hyper-responds to the body’s unru­ly event of ill­ness by trans­mu­ting it into data. Patients become infor­ma­tion not mere­ly via the quan­ti­ties of wha­te­ver emerges from or passes through their dis­crete bodies, the bodies and sen­sa­tions of entire popu­la­tions become the math of like­li­hood (of fal­ling ill or staying well, of living or dying, of hea­ling or suf­fe­ring) upon which treat­ment is based. The bodies of all people are sub­ject to these cal­cu­la­tions, but it is women, most often, who do the pre­li­mi­na­ry work of relo­ca­ting the nebu­lous­ness and uncoun­ta­bli­ty of ill­ness into medicine’s tech­no­lo­gi­zed math.