15 09 20

Boyer, The Undying

There is no more tra­gic piece of fur­ni­ture than a bed, how it falls so qui­ck­ly from the place we make love to the place we might die in. It is tra­gic, too, for how it falls so qui­ck­ly from the place where we sleep to the place where we think our­selves mad. The bed where anyone makes love is also—and too clear­ly for anyone stuck there because of illness—the grave, as John Donne des­cri­bed it, from which they might never rise.

In ver­ti­cal life, when you are well or most­ly and wal­king around, pre­ten­ding to be, the top of your head is the space that the hea­vens touch. The total area of the top of you is pret­ty small. You are only mode­ra­te­ly airy, then, and your eyes, rather than gazing up, gaze out­ward at the active world, and it is to this you are most­ly reac­ting. And it is most­ly during the night, during dreams, that ima­gi­ning becomes tem­po­ra­ri­ly expan­sive and the cei­ling air spreads over you, or at least this was, in those days, one magic theo­ry I conju­red in bed to explain the rela­tion­ship of pos­ture to thought.

When you are sick and hori­zon­tal, the sky or skyish air of what is above you spreads all over your body, the increa­sed area of airy inter­sec­tion leads to a cri­sis of exces­sive ima­gi­ning. All that hori­zon­ta­li­ty invites a mas­sive pro­jec­ting of cog­ni­tive forms. When you are so often lying down, you are also so often loo­king up.