12 02 16

i walk over and i        look at the roulette table while she stands there silently watching        i        look at the numbers
the numbers are strange        3        π        ε        α        δ        σ        i pick ε        somehow thinking its the natural log e
so i pick ε        hands        a transcendental number        the ball goes round and round        her hands again        my croupier claps her        and it stops on ε        she claps        and an elderly gentleman in a tuxedo without a tie        comes out of a back room carrying what looks like a violin case        comes in takes out an old violin and starts to play        he plays        he        in this        odd        broken        way        for moments he plays brilliantly        a paganini caprice        which you shouldnt play unless youre        in full control of everything in the world        paganini caprice        very bad        he starts playing this        and for a few bars its brilliant        and then he starts again        paganini caprice        violin and starts to cry        and then it goes        and hes playing the same        and again it starts brilliantly        fourteen bars further        hes playing        before it breaks down        hes weeping there        and this time goes        he puts down the        and a little girl comes        out and takes him by the hand and leads him out of the room        i look at my croupier        she says “winning is also losing”

David Antin « how wide is the frame » i never knew what time it was University of California Press 2005 p. 148–149