i walk over and i        look at the rou­lette table while she stands there silent­ly wat­ching        i        look at the num­bers
the num­bers are strange        3        π        ε        α        δ        σ        i pick ε        some­how thin­king its the natu­ral log e
so i pick ε        hands        a trans­cen­den­tal num­ber        the ball goes round and round        her hands again        my crou­pier claps her        and it stops on ε        she claps        and an elder­ly gent­le­man in a tuxe­do without a tie        comes out of a back room car­rying what looks like a vio­lin case        comes in takes out an old vio­lin and starts to play        he plays        he        in this        odd        bro­ken        way        for moments he plays brilliant­ly        a paga­ni­ni caprice        which you shouldnt play unless youre        in full control of eve­ry­thing in the world        paga­ni­ni caprice        very bad        he starts playing this        and for a few bars its brilliant        and then he starts again        paga­ni­ni caprice        vio­lin and starts to cry        and then it goes        and hes playing the same        and again it starts brilliant­ly        four­teen bars fur­ther        hes playing        before it breaks down        hes wee­ping there        and this time goes        he puts down the        and a lit­tle girl comes        out and takes him by the hand and leads him out of the room        i look at my crou­pier        she says “win­ning is also losing”